Live An Extreme Life: Losing the Weight and Gaining My Purpose by Bob Brenner

Author:Bob Brenner [Brenner, Bob]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ascend Books
Published: 2014-09-15T07:00:00+00:00

F.aith in the Force

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

~Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

In early 2009, I was about to lose the gig as a narcotics officer. It’s supposed to be a gift after giving so many hours with so much inconsistency for so many years to such a dirty job. You have earned less dangerous work and less brutal schedules. It’s a break and a well-deserved sigh of relief for the family that stayed beside a narcotics officer through all of the ugly, druggy mess. It still felt like a kick to the curb, a kick to the ego, and, ultimately, the kick in the ass I needed to get that ass in gear.

To make things worse, my son was growing up, and he’d be out of his high school football program soon, too; another one of my identities would be put on the shelf. Without narcotics and football, I didn’t know what that left to describe … me. I couldn’t believe I was turning the page on that chapter of my work both in coaching and policing.

“Hey!” I was told by the powers that be, “You’ve been at this for seven years! You’re long past your gate to get out. Somebody else can do this.”

The transition was so hard. I was used to coming and going according to the work and the hours of drug dealers. Now, I had this accountability to be a 2:45 pm to 10:45 pm guy. I missed the independence and kind of being a bit of my own boss.

There was also a financial sock to my obese gut. We had anticipated the hit to a certain degree, but my paycheck was sometimes DOUBLED due to the necessary overtime to get the job done. Now? There was nothing extra. (And that “extra” was part of the budget to make the bills on all of those image-driven purchases over the years.) We turned to credit cards. Our debt grew and grew.

I used to love my job! Now, I was stressed with the hours and the new supervisory structure and not feeling compensated to make up for my loss. After all those years of my family not knowing if I’d be home at all, they got this new side of me, which may have made them wish I was just gone again. I was always irritable with a short fuse and long tirades. I was depressed. I drank. I ate from stress.

The stress eating didn’t help with confidence on the job either. It was at this time that I grew to be my biggest ever. In my work with the Metro Drug Unit, I was supposed to look like one of the guys I was busting. I wore saggy jeans and big t-shirts that hung well below my waistline. Everything was loose and sloppy … like me. Now, in slacks with button-down shirts tucked in at a belt with extra holes, the only sloppy thing was me.

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